Today, we are going to highlight the phenomenon of gaslighting specifically because it is particularly deleterious and present in all forms of abuse (emotional, physical and sexual).  The name comes from a 1938 British play (later made into a film) called, Gas Light, involving a husband using the characteristic tactics we will discuss against his wife (Wikipedia-Gas Light, 1938).  Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that occurs when a perpetrator causes their victim to doubt their sanity and experience of reality by implicitly or explicitly conveying that:

1. their experiences aren’t real;

2. their feelings are wrong;

3. their memory of events is incorrect;

4. they don’t know what they need or want, but the perpetrator does;

5. they aren’t who they think they are;

6. the perpetrator’s behavior is somehow the victim’s fault;

7. nothing is wrong, even though something seems wrong;

8. it is okay or normal for terrible things to happen like emotional, physical or sexual abuse;

9. the perpetrator’s objectionable behaviors or personality characteristics are actually the victim’s (called projection).